Sorry for my bad that I broke the balance between us...
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To me, you are a nice, talented, tender and understanding man. I really like being with you. We did have those great times together whether you or me sitting in the front of eath others' computers. Not only listened to you talk amazing things about food, coffee, red wine, construction, paintings, books and so on, but you always made me laugh, consoled my depress, supported me and let me become stronger as well. Even during recent days, I still can feel your cares but it seemed something was changed, from you and ...from me...
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At that night, in that small, not crowded theater, it didn't matter if the movie was good or not. It was....that we spent the time together. In there, the air between you and me became so special and different that a sweet atmosphere surrounded us. Your smile, your touch and your soft whisper beside my ear made us get closer. When my eyes were seeing into your eyes, at that moment, I felt myself like a little girl in love. Even before I entered into the platform to take train home, I really wanted your embrace, to smell the scent of you and say goodbye to you in your arms. I know...I should not have these thoughts in my mind. You are not the man I should love and I should not love anyone, either.
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To me, you are right. The reason I don't wanna be in love again is I'm afraid of being hurt again. It's very hard to find someone loving you truly and deeply through your whole life. Besides, it's enough that I'd ever loved before. If now I can enjoy my world, like going to dacing classes, doing yoga, having a part time job and dining with friends, why should I let another one get into my world...
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To you, as you said in your article, you would become someone's man. Being with her, learning together, sleeping together, having baby together and getting old together...Do you still remember that feeling in your heart? If so, please don't let her go easily. However, no matter what is in your heart, all I want is wishing you happiness.
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Therefore, I try to make a proper distance between us, but it seems I mess up everything...I'm so sorry if I hurt you. Please understand that I do care about you very much. Just I think it's the right way for both of us. I am very sad I don't understand you, I am very sad I could not change your dark thoughts to bright ones of your mind, I am very sad our friendship is going to the end. But I will never forget you, such a special man has been in my heart, my life.
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P.S.Just let you know I wanted to go to the beach is because of you.
I couldn't sleep all night is because of you.
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